By: Jessica Faith Graham

Published February 20, 2025

When I was growing up, my mom had a little sign that read, “Friends are gifts sent by God.” In my teenage years, my friends meant everything to me, and my world revolved around them. Now, in my forties, while my daily life may not center on my friends, they remain deep in my heart – solidly rooted there and truly gifts from above.

A few years ago, my daughter’s best friend gave her half of a playdough heart while keeping the other half for himself. He told his mom he made it so they could always find their way back to each other if they ever got lost. Yes, he is quite an amazing little guy. Isn’t that the truth about friendships? In friendship, we share parts of our lives and hearts with one another. The ability to find our way back to each other in the jungle of life is what makes those friendships so special.

Once we share a piece of our playdough hearts, we create a bond that can last a lifetime. Below are a few types of friendships I’ve formed throughout my life. As you read, I hope you reflect on friends who play a similar role in your life.

If you’ve been struggling to make deep friendships, please reach out. I’d love to help you explore friendships through one-on-one counseling services.

The Friend: You Can Pick Up Where You Left Off

My friends have supported me, laughed with me, and even laughed at me. They have taught me valuable lessons and stood by me through life’s ups and downs. I have had some friends since early childhood, some from my adult years, and others that formed through the shared experience of parenting. All of these friendships are like icing on the cake of life. There are those dear friends with whom you can pick up right where you left off as if no time has passed. You know the type—the one you haven’t seen in over a year, yet when you finally meet for coffee, it feels like you just talked yesterday. Those are the friendships that truly stand the test of time.

The Friend: Who Remembers the Little Things

Is there anything better than receiving a text from a friend wishing you good luck on your first day at a new job? Or opening the door on your birthday to find that your friend sent you flowers? Or even getting a “happy birthday” message from a friend for your child? The support woven into our daily lives makes friendships truly special. We cherish these friends—the ones who remember the little details. Life can get hectic, but these wonderful people always remember to check in and make you feel special.

The Friend: Who Has Been With You Through the Ups and Downs

I can’t tell you how often I’ve reached out to different friends when I need to process a bad day or hard time. Those conversations somehow help put the world back in perspective. Friends who stand by you during life’s challenging moments are truly irreplaceable.

When I was in my mid-twenties and going through a painful breakup, I called my friend to counsel me through it. While I was rambling and she listened on the phone, her toddler started painting the steps in the garage. Not wanting to interrupt my drama, she kept a watchful eye on him while lending her empathic ear to my words. We laugh now that those painted steps reminded her of that phone call for years.

The friends with whom you can share your highs—and, most importantly, your lows—know you deeply. My lifelong friends have walked alongside me through the highs and lows. These friends are like the “candles” on the cake because they shine so brightly in life.

The Friend: That is Okay With the Crazy

Then there are those friends we can call when we need to blow off some steam. You have a unique bond with these friends; they get you. The next day, no questions will be asked. It’s like that secret language; no one asks questions or sees anything, and all questionable actions are wiped clean. The laughs that follow last a lifetime.

The Friend: That Teaches Us Important Lessons

Some friends check on your actions, too. Do you have a friend where you tell them your side of the story, only to have them question you? The other day, I was telling my friend about a worry of mine. Immediately, she questioned if there was truth to my worry. She explained what she heard me saying… clearly, making me understand my worry didn’t have much substance behind it, and it finally clicked.

Being vulnerable is one of the best parts of close friendships. It allows us to express what is going on without the fear of judgment. These relationships can teach us to trust, open up, and feel we belong. There have been times when I have shared something, thinking my friend would hang up the phone or walk out of the room, and instead, they understood. They accept you for who you are and the experiences you are going through in life.

The Friend: That Understands Us

True friends understand that sometimes, we need a little space to figure out other roles. The saying, “If something means a lot to you, you’ll put in the effort,” didn't hold true when I became a mother. After having three children close in age, I went through a phase where making plans away from them was difficult. It didn’t help that two of them refused a bottle, so I couldn’t be away for long. Living with the feeling that your child needs you is hard. It caused me a lot of anxiety and made me feel like I couldn’t venture too far away.

During this period, I turned down many invitations. Most people didn’t understand what I was going through; I rarely opened up about it. A friend called me during that time. She said she understood it was hard with such young children, and the understanding in her voice was the reassurance I needed. She understood, and her friendship remained. Her support was what I needed to navigate this chapter in my life. I was figuring out how to embrace this new role in my life.

Friendships Are The Icing on the Cake

I believe friendships are meant to be the icing on our cake—the sweet, fun, and beautiful moments we share with those who lift our spirits. I am so grateful for every friend, every memory, and every lesson we've learned together. Like my daughter’s playdough heart, if we get lost, our hearts will help us find our way back and catch up like no time has passed. Our friends sweeten our journey through life, whether they last a lifetime, a chapter, or just a day.

If you’ve been struggling with friendships, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d love to help support you in this journey.

True Friendship: The Icing on the Cake in Life!